


you're the only thing (i want for christmas)

by gwanshim



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Christmas Fluff, Confessions, Drinking, FOR MY SAKE AND YOURS, I hate this fic so much, I just wanted to add over a year later that i hate this, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nude Photos, PLEASE NEVER READ THIS, Scratching, Secret Santa, Smoking, Unsafe Sex, apparently ive ruined polaroids for some people so sorry in advance, horrifically sweet yet disgusting at the same time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:23:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5603119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwanshim/pseuds/gwanshim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wonwoo is horrible at gift giving. Kim Mingyu is the guy he's been pining over since forever, and also happens to be the one he ends up needing to get a Secret Santa for: courtesy of Kwon Soonyoung's annual <em>'Christmas Eve & Secret Santa Party'</em>. Wonwoo actually thinks his gift might be alright this year - until he actually <em>sees</em> Kim Mingyu at Soonyoung's party, and Wonwoo regrets literally <em>everything </em>he's ever done because Kim Mingyu is so astoundingly perfect in every single way possible. He's still really unsure by the time Mingyu gets to tearing open the wrapping paper; but maybe this year, the gift is just right.</p><p>(That Meanie Christmas fic where Wonwoo is insecure about everything and Mingyu has too many things he wishes he could've said sooner.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're the only thing (i want for christmas)

**Author's Note:**

>   * Look at my word count hahahaha, the true magic of Christmas, everyone.
>   * A very (late) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! c:
>   * It's 2016 already oh shit.
>   * Yes, I was aiming to post this on Christmas but I failed miserably - ugh I know, I know. 
>   * I got about 4k in before I realised nothing significant had happened yet, and probably wouldn't happen for a little bit more - so this kind of went off on a tangent of blah but I mean, whatever I guess. Yay for character development? (Probably not.)
>   * This fic gave me so much strife tbh ohmygod I procrastinated so hard and had the worst writers block _ever_ and it really wasn't the time because Christmas!!!!! Deadline!!!! (which I ended up missing anyway, go figure)
>   * This fic has drained me :)))))))))))))))
>   * ~~This is so sub-par???~~
>   * I nearly gave up on this about 9k in because I was just so  _done_ with this fic and unhappy with it but alas - here it is. I kind of really want to cry over it but also I can't be bothered. I _really_ need to take a break, so help me God I need some R &R, man.
>   * Thank you to the very adorable and squishy AO3 user [yournoona](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yournoona) for _finally_ proofreading one of my works (even though I only gave you the first 7k to proofread lol I wasn't finished yet). You know I love you a hell of a lot, oldie!!! SMOOCHES YOU XOXO ❤
> 


Wonwoo stands there in the cold December air, right in front of Soonyoung’s banged up apartment door. It looks like it’s seen a few too many parties and also a few too many Christmas Eve’s before this one. He stuffs the small, paper wrapped box further into his jacket pocket and brings his hands up to blow warm air onto his cold fingertips. He notes how it feels like it just might snow later that night, and it makes him look up just to check, yet the only thing he sees is the hard concrete of the apartment platform above.

As footsteps from inside get closer and chatter from the apartment gets louder; Wonwoo picks up the sound of Mariah Carey’s Christmas Collection playing (of _course_ ) and identifies the familiar voice getting closer as Jihoon’s, just before the door swings open to reveal the shorter blonde haired boy, sporting that disapproving look he always wears around Wonwoo. “Hey, Jihoon.” Wonwoo smiles warmly at him, and gets a raised eyebrow in return.

“Glad you could make it,” Jihoon says monotonously, looking up at the much taller boy through his light coloured fringe, “put the gift in the bedroom.” He instructs, “We’re in the kitchen.”

Wonwoo gives a curt nod to Jihoon as he’s lead inside, closing the door behind him with a dull click, and he removes the wool scarf from around his neck and the oversized blue parka that he’d been so snugly wrapped in. It’s uncomfortably warm and a little too stuffy inside the old apartment. He doesn’t pay too much mind when Jihoon continues inside without addressing him any further and he wonders why the younger boy even opened the door for him in the first place - Jihoon had never really liked Wonwoo for some reason - even back in high school - but Soonyoung was a mutual friend to both of them, and even after Jihoon and Soonyoung started dating, Wonwoo would still get the cold shoulder for a range of unknown reasons.

He hangs up the scarf and parka on one of the hooks next to the doorway. Wonwoo can see there’s already everyone else’s coats there, and he’s probably the last one to arrive. He can hear the chatter inside and it makes him a little antsy, so he pulls the wrapped present out of his parka pocket and turns the small box around in his hands for a moment. He hears someone’s voice getting closer - someone familiar and distinctly _not_ Jihoon. Makes him want to maybe crawl under a rock and hide. Wonwoo quickly dashes inside Soonyoung’s bedroom to place his present with the other gifts, eyeing the other various sized boxes and wrapping papers on the pile.

Wonwoo turns to the mirror in the bedroom and gives himself a once over, brushing his shirt off and smoothing his unruly hair down before he gives a final nervous glance to his present sitting on the pile, and saunters out as casually as possible - literally bumping _right_ into Kim Mingyu as he rounds the corner. Wonwoo’s face hits somewhere near his chest or his neck, and he can feel his face heat up as he takes a hasty step back, Mingyu laughing from above him with soft apologies.

God, Wonwoo thinks he looks stunning. Ethereal, perfect, all those other words that describe Kim Mingyu that he can’t think of off the top of his head. Even when Mingyu is only dressed in a cheesy Christmas themed knit sweater and tight black jeans that hug his thighs a little too snugly for his liking. Makes Wonwoo wish he didn’t see anything because Kim Mingyu looks damn good. Wonwoo can smell his cologne, and he guesses Mingyu was trying to be a little festive because it smells a little like hot chocolate, cinnamon and nutmeg.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu greets, a welcoming smile plastered on his face, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Wonwoo swallows when he hears Mingyu speak. He’d missed not hearing it every day anymore, and he’d missed that stupid smile of his too. “Yeah,” breathes Wonwoo, and he’s not sure when speaking became so difficult, but there’s a tension in the air and he isn’t sure if it’s because they haven’t met for a while, or the fact that Mingyu was the recipient of Wonwoo’s secret santa gift which he thought would be _great_ when he bought it - but now, looking at Mingyu in his dumb sweater and that adorable grin on his face, he’s not so sure. Maybe the tension wasn’t even because of any of those other things, and was instead because of the fact that Wonwoo had been hopelessly in love with Mingyu since _literally_ , forever. Yeah, that could be it. “It’s been a couple of months.”

“Four,” Mingyu tells him, and Wonwoo’s now hyperaware of the warm hand that’s made it’s way up his clothed arm and is resting heavily on his shoulder. “It’s been four months.”

Wonwoo lets his lips curve into a smile, reaching out to grasp Mingyu’s bicep, and it’s so _firm_ and muscular that he’s biting his lip and having fleeting thoughts about maybe leaving marks there just to see what it would look like. Probably aesthetic as fuck. “I missed you,” he ventures instead, looking up into the taller boy’s eyes with hesitation. Kim Mingyu gives his shoulder a squeeze before letting go, and Wonwoo reluctantly does the same.

Mingyu grins that toothy grin of his though, and Wonwoo finds himself smiling back. “I missed you too, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo hears Soonyoung call out for them to hurry up from further inside the apartment and he nearly kneejerk flinches away from Mingyu when the youngest of the two grabs his hand to pull him into Soonyoung’s kitchen. Wonwoo squints when they get into the bright - _way_ too bright - kitchen, black and white linoleum flooring pulled straight out of a bad 70’s sitcom. Soonyoung _screams_ something incomprehensible when he sees Wonwoo, waving frantically with the hand that’s not holding a large glass of some clear liquid (probably peppermint schnapps if Wonwoo knew anything about Soonyoung - which he did), before pushing his way through Jeonghan and Seungcheol who were too busy bickering and knocking down shots with Seokmin in the small kitchen to realise anything.

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung slurs, liquid in his glass sloshing around dangerously. Wonwoo gives him a tight-lipped smile as the guy approaches and he’s feeling a little nervous for some reason. He loves Soonyoung, really - just not when he’s drunk and prone to doing stupid things. Soonyoung looks up at Mingyu with a dazed expression, who is still standing next to Wonwoo with an amused grin. Wonwoo is about to tell Mingyu to stay and save him from being drowned in Soonyoung’s drink - which is close to spilling just about everywhere - but the other boy backs away when Soonyoung throws an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders and _literally_ kicks Mingyu’s ass, telling him to piss off.

Mingyu just laughs and saunters off to somewhere else in the house, picking up a tall, pre-filled glass of peppermint schnapps on his way. Wonwoo’s eyes follow the tall boy across the room when he sees Jihoon giving him an annoyed look from the beat up old couch. Mingyu parks himself on the armrest next to Junhui - who’s sitting by himself with a lit cigarette between his lips while scrolling through something on his phone - and takes a long drink from his glass. Wonwoo tries his best to ignore the piercing gaze from Jihoon and has to tear his eyes away from Mingyu’s thighs in those (oh so heavenly) jeans when Soonyoung punches him not-so-lightly in the arm.

“It’s been like, a week since I last saw you Wonwoo.” Soonyoung announces holding up his glass to the bright lights. Wonwoo laughs and makes a sound of agreement, rolling his eyes a little. “I missed you so fucking _much_ y’know. Like, a hell of a fucking lot.”

“You see me nearly every day, Soonyoung. We have the same major.” Wonwoo gripes back. Soonyoung just scoffs and plants a huge, wet kiss on Wonwoo’s cheek, _dangerously_ close to his mouth and _this_ is why Wonwoo hates him when he’s drunk. Boy can’t hold his liquor very well but he damn well tries. Wonwoo hisses and makes a show of wiping his cheek but he’s sure Soonyoung doesn’t really give a shit.

Soonyoung hums and gets distracted by a fly on the wall before he turns to the couch and wiggles his fingers in Jihoon’s direction with a “ _yoo-hoo_ !”. Jihoon looks extremely put out and just about _done_ with drunk Soonyoung, nose scrunched and lips formed into a pout.  Wonwoo would honestly not be too surprised if he came over to the two of them right now and punched Wonwoo square in the jaw for letting that gross kiss happen even if he had no control over it. “Ah! The wonders of fine literature!” Soonyoung singsongs, taking a swig of his drink - and Wonwoo catches a whiff of the fragrant alcohol and yeah, that shit is _definitely_ peppermint schnapps. Wonwoo lets out an amused bark of laughter when Soonyoung almost chokes on his drink, sputtering out an “I’m alright!” as Wonwoo pats his back lightly.

“Sorry I came by so late,” Wonwoo apologises once Soonyoung’s coughing fit is over, and he watches as the boy takes another long drink from his glass with a raised eyebrow, “the guy who was supposed to take over my shift didn’t show up on time.”

“It’s fine,” Soonyoung drawls, petting the back of Wonwoo’s head with a smile, “it’s Christmas Eve! You’re here with us, that’s what matters!” Wonwoo gives Soonyoung a grateful smile he probably wouldn’t remember in the morning as Soonyoung tilts his head back to finish the last of his drink, reaching over to slam it down on the kitchen table right next to Seokmin’s head - who’s resting on his arms - and the boy gives a startled yelp when the sound echos in the rowdy room. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Soonyoung swings his arm across, motioning to basically everything and grinning at Wonwoo like he’d just said something smart.

Wonwoo honestly has no idea what the hell Soonyoung is going on about though. Reading Soonyoung’s mind wasn’t on his resume, so he reluctantly asks, “What is?”

“Us!” Soonyoung states proudly with a nod of his head. “Over two years after graduation and look at us high school friends still catching up and spending Christmas together like old times.”

Soonyoung actually seems to be making sense for once, and Wonwoo finds himself scanning the faces in the room with a fond smile. “Yeah,” Wonwoo agrees, “it’s pretty beautiful Soonyoung.”

The other boy grins and sways precariously, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s waist with an incoherent grumble and something that sounds strangely like “ _Jihoon_ ”. Wonwoo looks up to search for the boy Soonyoung was grumbling about and it doesn’t take long for him to spot the short blonde sprawled out on the floor, Mingyu’s foot poking his side. Jihoon can somehow probably feel Wonwoo’s gaze on him, and his head turns around almost instantaneously to look at him, Soonyoung’s arms still locked around him in a rather awkward position.

“I think your boyfriend is starting to hate me even more because you haven’t left alone me since I got here.” Wonwoo hisses at Soonyoung, who’s lazily resting his head on Wonwoo’s shoulder and whimpering random shit into his neck. Soonyoung manages to look up at Wonwoo with scrunched brows and he reaches up to pinch Wonwoo’s cheek.

“Jihoon doesn’t hate you,” Soonyoung says softly, eyes flickering over to Jihoon on the floor, and then back to Wonwoo, who’s pouting and trying to pry Soonyoung’s fingers off his cheek without much success . “He just doesn’t know how to read you and that bothers him.”

“He’s known me for years.” Wonwoo deadpans, and the frown on Soonyoung’s face is evident when Wonwoo finally gets the guy off of him, pushing him away with a soft laugh. Soonyoung stumbles backwards and gives Wonwoo a little wave, nearly tripping over Jihoon when he goes a little off course.

“Yeah, but you can go from lifeless to batshit crazy real quick.” Soonyoung yells at him with a determined point and a giggle when Jihoon quickly scrambles to his feet to steady a drunken Soonyoung, and Wonwoo finds himself laughing at the sight. “You’re like a fucking enigma, Jeon Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes Soonyoung and coughs awkwardly into his fist when he catches Mingyu’s eye. Mingyu flashes a smile at him, and just as quickly moves back over into the kitchen to lean against the counter and mingle with Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who’ve moved on from bickering and are both probably too drunk to care about whatever the hell they were arguing about beforehand.

It’s extremely noisy, so Wonwoo looks around the room, trying to spot a free place to sit and relax for once and that isn’t occupied by a passed out Seokmin or anyone else. He sees Junhui leaning back in his chair, beckoning him over with a grin and a wave, so he heads across, avoiding Jihoon grumbling in annoyance as he holds Soonyoung up by his armpits.

“Wonwoo,” Junhui greets happily and shuffles over to make space when Wonwoo throws himself onto the couch too, squashing into the small space between Junhui and the arm rest, but they make it fit. Junhui reaches into his pocket and fumbles a little before pulling out a near full pack of Marlboro’s and offers it out to Wonwoo with a smile, his own cigarette now down to a stub between his teeth. Wonwoo eyes the pack for a moment before reaching to grab the whole thing from Junhui’s grasp and stuffs it into his own back pocket clumsily.

“Thanks,” Wonwoo gripes and Junhui just laughs at him incredulously, putting out his burnt down cigarette on the ash tray sitting on the armrest and pulling out another pack, gingerly taking a stick between his fingers.

“I thought you’d do that,” Junhui tells him with a smile, “so I came prepared.”

Wonwoo snorts at him as he watches Junhui wedge the stick between his lips and scramble for a lighter, flicking it on and lighting the blunt with a satisfied hum. “So what were you and Mingyu talking about before?” Wonwoo interrogates, leaning back into the seat with a small huff, eyes following the soft swirl of smoke that escapes Junhui’s lips when he breathes out.

Junhui looks at Wonwoo with a raised eyebrow, leaning back into the seat too so they’re shoulder to shoulder. “Why are you so interested?” Junhui questions, but Wonwoo gives him a look and Junhui laughs at him before he waves it off, clearing the smoke in the air. “Nah, it was nothing really. You still like him?”

“Well, yeah.” Wonwoo says, shifting so his head is leaning snugly on Junhui’s shoulder, letting out an exhausted sigh. Junhui flings an arm around him and laughs at Wonwoo’s declaration. Wonwoo knows he only asked to give Wonwoo shit about it, so he throws a question in himself. “How about that girl you told me about last month, anything new?”

Junhui scoffs. “We’ve met up a few times but it’s not going anywhere so far. I think I really like her but she kind of just goes along with everything, do you know what I mean?”

Wonwoo smiles and pats Junhui’s thigh apologetically as the older boy takes another long drag of his cigarette, pulling it away from his lips as he exhales through his nose. Poor guy has got no luck with his love life to speak of, no matter how hard he tries. Wonwoo feels kind of sorry for him because really, he was a great guy. Junhui was one of his best friends for a reason. Junhui gives him a thankful smile and offers him his cigarette, but Wonwoo just shakes his head and smiles back.

“Alright,” Wonwoo hears Jihoon call out to everyone, narrowing his eyes at Seokmin when he raises his head and grumbles something incoherent, “we’ve got to get the Secret Santas out of the way before Soonyoung passes out. Wonwoo,” Jihoon pauses, scanning the room until his eyes lock with Wonwoo’s, and he’s _stunned_ that Jihoon would call _him_ out of all people, “come help me bring out the presents.”

Junhui nudges him off the couch and Wonwoo stumbles upright with an annoyed grunt, turning back to shoot Junhui an icy glare as the older boy plants his socked foot on Wonwoo’s ass and pushes him away.

“Go get me my present, slave.” Junhui says royally, making a show of shooing Wonwoo with a wave of his hand. Wonwoo guffaws but he makes his way over to Jihoon anyway, who is standing at the opening to the hallway with a raised brow and disapproving frown.

“Come on,” Jihoon instructs, and he turns on his heels before heading down the hallway, Wonwoo right behind him when he rounds the corner into the small bedroom Jihoon probably shared with Soonyoung. The pile of presents on the floor didn’t look _too_ intimidating, but Wonwoo was still unsure of how the hell he and Jihoon would be able to carry it all out without something like a bag to help them. Jihoon heads straight into the corner of the room and crouches down, fumbling around for something noisily. “I don’t hate you, by the way.”

Wonwoo is about to say something back, because Jihoon wasn’t supposed to _know_ that he thought that way. Wonwoo guesses that Soonyoung must’ve grumbled something about their conversation to Jihoon while he was being nursed by him, but Wonwoo finds himself smiling because knowing Jihoon didn’t hate him was actually more validating than he’d realised it would be. He reminds himself to never tell Soonyoung anything ever again, though.

Jihoon stands up with two plastic bags in hand and walks back over to the present pile to give one to Wonwoo, who takes it with with a little hesitation. “Soonyoung mentioned that you thought I hated you.” Jihoon murmurs as he crouches again to stuff presents into his bag, so Wonwoo does the same, quickly snatching up his small box that had tumbled down the pile when Jihoon had pulled a larger one from underneath it. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Wonwoo clarifies, because he’s never actually had any experiences of Jihoon _not_ hating him. He’d never pick Wonwoo for anything or give him presents, and if Wonwoo had a birthday party, he’d only stay for a while and then leave. It had been like that for years - and Wonwoo had never gotten so much as an explanation for it, but then again, he’d been too nervous to ask for one.

“No, of course not dumbass,” Jihoon tells him with a loud laugh, “what makes you think I do anyway?”

Wonwoo frowns as he picks up the last present that he’s going to be able to fit in the bag and stands up, stuffing it into the tight space that’s left. “You look at me weird?”

Jihoon scoffs and rolls his eyes at that, standing up too and looking at Wonwoo like he always does, but maybe with a hint of amusement. Wonwoo can’t tell. “I look at everyone weird. I don’t hate you, alright?”

“You smile at the others,” Wonwoo complains, “especially Soonyoung.”

“Hey, I smile at you.” Jihoon retaliates, and he looks a little baffled at the mention of the others and especially Soonyoung. Wonwoo guesses it’s a little unfair to bring Sonyoung into this because their situation is a little different. “Besides,” Jihoon continues, “Soonyoung and I are dating. Do you want me to give you heart eyes too or whatever?”

The image of Jihoon giving Soonyoung heart eyes creeps him out, so of _course_ he doesn’t want Jihoon giving _him_ heart eyes either. He shakes his head. “No, that’s fine.” Wonwoo relents quickly, making his way over to the door to walk back into the rowdy party. Mariah Carey’s ‘ _All I Want For Christmas’_ is playing and he can hear Soonyoung and Seokmin drunkenly singing along the best they can - which isn’t very well since their lyrics are slurred and they barely know English on a good day.

“I thought so.” Jihoon hauls his own bag over to the door too, heading out in front of Wonwoo and walking down the hall with little resistance from the plastic bag in his hands. He pauses for a moment in the middle, just before they walk out and Wonwoo nearly runs right into him. “You know who _does_ give you heart eyes though?” Jihoon says with a smile, and Wonwoo really _doesn’t_ like where this is going. “Mingyu.”

Wonwoo groans and frowns at the shorter boy. “Jihoon, he doesn’t like me don’t give me false hope.”

Jihoon raises a brow at that and gives him a pointed look, and strangely that little bit of playfulness from Jihoon makes him feel a little more at ease. “You like him?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon laughs, walking out into the main room, “it is. Let’s go.”

Everyone is already sitting in a circle on the floor like elementary school students playing duck duck goose or some shit. Jihoon walks over and unceremoniously dumps all the presents he has in the middle, shaking the bag just in case anything else would fall out. Wonwoo does the same after, only a little more carefully because he knows his own present is in his bag, and he shuffles over to squeeze between Junhui and Mingyu when Mingyu waves him over and pats the space on the floor next to him with a toothy grin.

Soonyoung ends up pulling names from a hat instead of just having a free for all with everyone scrambling for their presents like last year. It had ended up with Junhui getting a bruised rib from being kneed in the chest by Jeonghan when he surged forward to claim his present, and nobody (especially Junhui and Seungcheol, who had to foot the medical bill for some reason) wanted a repeat of that event.

They start quickly with Soonyoung making Seokmin reach in and grab the scraps of paper, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering the fact that they were probably the most drunk out of all of them at the party. Wonwoo is the third person to be called, so he carefully reaches into the pile to search for his present, hand brushing against Mingyu’s when he finds it because Mingyu had decided to help him and oh _god_ his smile when he looks at Wonwoo like that is unreal. Wonwoo smiles back sheepishly and retracts his hand, only to remember it was _his_ present. Mingyu’s picked it up for him anyway, so he reaches forward shyly to take it from Mingyu’s hands.

When he unwraps it, he’s honestly surprised. It’s a really damn expensive gift too; an Instax polaroid camera - and Wonwoo looks around the circle of friends to see if anyone would give away who the hell bought him the present. Jihoon looks the guiltiest, and he gives a small smile before he shrugs and says, “I told you I didn’t hate you.”

Wonwoo is speechless, kind of wants to give Jihoon a hug, but he doesn’t push his luck and only smiles thankfully and settles back into his place on the floor. Junhui nudges him in the side when Seungcheol is called up for his present next and he asks when he and Jihoon got so friendly. “We just talked while we got the presents,” Wonwoo whispers, and Junhui nods before leaning back on his hands. Wonwoo is surprised that he’s not asking anymore questions because Junhui is usually nosy as fuck.

The last person to have their name pulled out of the hat is Mingyu (even though the name pulling become sort of redundant since Mingyu was the only one left), and Wonwoo’s heart is drumming in his chest as Mingyu reaches in and grabs the last box - so small compared to the others. It fits in Mingyu’s palm as he settles back into his seat on the floor, and Wonwoo holds his breath as Mingyu tears open the wrapping paper carefully. There’s a cardboard box inside, and as Mingyu lifts the lid off of it, Wonwoo can feel his stomach drop.

Wonwoo watches as Mingyu’s adam’s apple bobs when he reaches in to pull the small gift out of its box. Seokmin loudly asks what it is from the other side of the circle, because he can’t see it properly and everyone else choruses in, asking what it is and trying to sneak a peak of just what was inside the box. Wonwoo is looking at it nervously, and he’s the only one not asking, but he doesn’t think Mingyu realises that.

“It’s a pocket watch.” Mingyu tells them, but his voice is soft, breathless almost. Wonwoo isn’t sure if anyone else can hear what Mingyu just said, but he’s sitting right next to him. So he can. Wonwoo chews on his lip nervously. Mingyu looks enraptured by it, and for once, Wonwoo thinks his gift _might_ actually be worthwhile. There are sleek carvings on the outside shell, intricate leaves and swirls dancing around the edges, and as Mingyu flips it open with nimble fingers, Wonwoo can see Mingyu’s breath leave his perfect lips in a soft ‘ _oh_ ’.

It takes a moment for Wonwoo to start panicking, but when he does, it’s really not great. Wonwoo knows he’s probably fucked up that present. He _knew_ it was a bad idea. _God_ , he should’ve just gone with the pocket watch and left it at that because _now_ , Wonwoo really wants to melt into the floor and maybe into the apartment below where there’s probably food and maybe a nice Christmas Eve dinner with some homely family because Mingyu has _seen_ it and Wonwoo doesn’t know if he _knows_ , or if Mingyu’s creeped out by it or _something_ . Wonwoo can’t read what that ‘ _oh_ ’ means, and it scares the shit out of him.

Mingyu turns his head to Wonwoo next to him slowly, eyes sparkling and bottom lip caught between his teeth. _Fuck_ , he really does look stunning, but Wonwoo’s blood is running cold because Mingyu _saw it_ and he’s so nervous as to how Mingyu’s going to take that small engraving on the inside, but he knows he doesn’t want to stick around to find out. He’d thought it was a good idea at the time but _nope_.

“Won-”

“Who wants to play some drinking games with the peppermint schnapps!” Soonyoung interrupts Mingyu, thrusting a (thankfully) empty glass up into the air and hollering at Seokmin when the younger one starts chanting “ _drinks drinks drinks drinks_ ”.

Wonwoo is so fucking _thankful_ for drunk Soonyoung for once, and he takes the opportunity to scramble up and mutter a quick “I need some fresh air,” to Junhui beside him before he heads down the hallway, not once looking back at Kim Mingyu with his cute teeth and that pocket watch settled in the palm of his hand. Wonwoo snatches his scarf and parka from the hooks near the front door and digs his hand around in Jeonghan’s leather jacket for a lighter as he heads out, wrapping himself up and stuffing the Instax along with the pack of film it came with into his parka’s side pocket. It makes a horrific looking bulge but he doesn’t really care as he steps out into the cold night air. Wonwoo notices that it’s finally snowing.

He closes the door behind him, trekking his way down three flights of stairs and across ankle deep snow to the lonely light pole illuminating the dark street. He leans against it with a huff, and the steam from his breath dances in the cold air as it crystallizes. He throws his head back, staring up at the snow slowly falling onto the already snow covered ground, and he takes in a shuddering breath. Wonwoo pats himself down to find and pull the pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. They’re a little squashed from sitting on them, but he doesn’t give a damn, nor does he realise his hands are shaking until he goes to pull one out.

It’s cold. _He’s_ probably cold. That’s why he’s shaking and it _isn’t_ because he’s scared of what Mingyu thinks or anything. No way. He sticks the blunt between his lips and flicks on Jeonghan’s lighter to light the cigarette, stuffing the pack back into his pants. Wonwoo takes a deep drag before pulling the stick away, letting the smoke burn through his lungs before he exhales it all in one long sigh. _Fuck_ Soonyoung for his damn Secret Santas and _fuck_ the universe for giving him Kim Mingyu. He’d really thought his present through - really thought about what would mean the most - but he hadn’t thought about the consequences or what Mingyu would’ve thought about the small engraving on the inside.

The present was probably too cheesy. Probably creeped him out. Wonwoo wanted to buy him something sentimental - something that _meant_ something, but he didn’t get to see Mingyu as often as he used to. They’d graduated high school two years ago and Wonwoo is still hung up on the past. They see each other every couple of months, weeks maybe. Different universities, new friends. If Wonwoo had one regret about high school, it was definitely Kim Mingyu. He wonders if it’s the same for Mingyu too, but probably not.

There’s the soft crunching of footsteps in snow, and Wonwoo is too busy to look up from watching the smoke spiral up from the burning cigarette until shoes enter his peripheral and he distinctly remembers them from the party. Wonwoo brings the stick to his lips and lifts his head up, coming face to face with none other than Kim Mingyu himself. Wonwoo isn’t surprised, but his stomach is twisting and he really doesn’t want to be there right now because Mingyu’s frowning at him and he’s already in enough shit for tonight.

“You know that thing is gonna give you cancer, right?” Mingyu’s voice is low and it almost blends into the silence around them, but Wonwoo’s ears pick it up and he shrinks back against the light post when Mingyu steps forward and reaches up to his face, fingertips gingerly plucking the cigarette from between Wonwoo’s lips. Wonwoo’s breath hitches when Mingyu brings it up to his lips instead and sucks in a breath before blowing a puff of smoke out into the cold winter, looking up into the sky too. “I didn’t think you smoked anymore.”

Wonwoo shrugs and looks over at the block of apartments lined up to his side - really anywhere but Mingyu. Mingyu was right; he didn’t smoke anymore. Quit within the first month of starting it because he didn’t want it to become a habit. Junhui obviously didn’t share the same concern. Mingyu knows this. “It’s a special occasion.” Wonwoo tells Mingyu, eyeing the joint he has in his fingers slowly burning down into a stub. “I didn’t think you smoked at all.”

Mingyu laughs and takes another drag before shaking his head. “I don’t, but if you’re going to kill yourself, I might as well go and do the same.”

Wonwoo scoffs and reaches over to hit Mingyu’s shoulder. Mingyu pokes his tongue out at him and gives him one of those smiles that makes Wonwoo’s heart flutter for no other reason than it makes him feel like he means something more to Mingyu. Like this, they were good. Small talk, looking up at the sky, and if Wonwoo squints, he thinks he can see a glow around Mingyu that makes him look like something holy trying to find their way back home in the heavens. He’s the one who’s probably just lost in Mingyu’s eyes, however.

“Thanks for the gift, by the way.” Mingyu says softly, looking over at Wonwoo with shining eyes and the curve of a smile in them. He thinks he sees a blush, but maybe he’s just hopeful. “I love it, really.”

“What gave me away?” Wonwoo asks, voice barely a whisper but he can’t seem to force out anything louder than that. Mingyu hears him though, his teeth flashing for a moment but everything else around them is already so glaring and white from the snow that Wonwoo almost misses it.

“The engraving. It was the time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu echos, coming a little closer and now they’re only about a breath away from each other. Wonwoo can feel the warmth radiating off Mingyu’s body and he can see the snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes. Mingyu smells like smoke, and he hates it because that’s not what Mingyu is. The proximity scares Wonwoo so _much_ , but he can’t help but look up into Mingyu’s eyes when he speaks. “It was the time we first met back in middle school. It was our first day and we were both running late, so you asked me for the time...”

“And we ran up the stairs and I broke your grandad's pocket watch.” Wonwoo finishes for him with a frown. Mingyu reaches up to ruffle Wonwoo’s hair and poke his forehead like he always did when Wonwoo would bring it up, but this time there’s no laughing or smiles on either part.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Mingyu sighs and runs a hand through Wonwoo’s hair, the edges of his lips forming a frown as snow falls from the strands of Wonwoo’s hair, and he hates that he’s the reason for that sad looking expression. “I was the one who dropped it.”

“But, if I hadn’t asked you…” Mingyu’s fingers brush against Wonwoo’s cheek comfortingly and when those fingertips ghost over his lips, he can hear Mingyu shushing him softly. Wonwoo’s shoulders slump. “I’m just surprised you remembered the time, Mingyu.”

Mingyu chuckles and flicks the burnt out cigarette butt into the snow before gently pulling Wonwoo into his chest, holding him tightly. Wonwoo freezes up because he doesn’t know what to do; he should push him away, probably, or maybe tell him not to. Maybe he should hug him back. “Did you expect me to forget?” Mingyu asks, and his voice is muffled as he whispers into Wonwoo’s hair.

Wonwoo can feel his heart beating loudly in his chest, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, his chest, and there’s a rumbling in his ears which he can’t identify until he realises it’s Mingyu humming along to some tune he doesn’t recognise. It’s strangely relaxing, and Wonwoo moves his arms to wrap around the younger boy’s waist, burying his face into that dumb sweater Mingyu’s still wearing underneath his coat. Mingyu drifts from humming to singing something, the lyrics soft and careful and a little offtune, but that’s okay.

It’s oddly romantic - what they’re doing now - and it should be reserved for couples in love, dancing to tuneless melodies in the snow on Christmas Eve, but the only thing Wonwoo knows is that _he’s_ in love, but Mingyu might not be. The lyrics flow from the boy’s lips and they’re starting to form together a little more, making some sense, and it doesn’t hit Wonwoo that it’s a love song until Mingyu’s at the chorus and singing it all over again.

“Kim Mingyu, are you trying to serenade me?” Wonwoo asks, and really he just means it as a joke, some way to distract himself from giving himself some weird sense of hope that he shouldn’t have the privilege of experiencing.

Yet Mingyu pauses his singing and Wonwoo can hear him laugh a little; the arms around him tightening ever so slightly. “Yeah,” Mingyu replies, “I am actually.”

 _Shit_ , he’s blushing. Wonwoo can feel his cheeks heat up and his whole body feels tingly and hot and just _weird._ He kind of wants to kiss fucking Kim Mingyu right now but he _can’t_ , so he pushes him away instead with an indignant “fuck off” and a shove to the gut which has Mingyu keeling over and coughing.

“ _Wonwoo_ , Wonwoo I’m sorry.” Mingyu gasps out through his wheezing and attempts to catch his breath. Wonwoo stares at him with wide eyes and he’s so _conflicted_ . He’s so fucking _scared_ and he doesn’t know what to do when Mingyu looks up at him with a small smile and brows furrowed in discomfort. Before he realises it, his hands are cupping Mingyu’s face and pulling him up with a gentle caress over Mingyu’s temple. He sees a blush on the apples of Mingyu’s cheeks. It’s fleeting, but it’s beautiful, and Wonwoo lets his hands drop to his sides when Mingyu stands up straight. “Do you like me Wonwoo?”

Ah. He should be surprised, really - but strangely, he’s not. He’s been waiting for this question for _years_ , but despite all that, he still moves away from the other boy and blushes _hard_. He can feel his knees buckle and his whole body tremble, and at least this time he knows it’s not because of the cold. “And if I say yes?” Wonwoo asks in a small voice, because he’s scared that if Mingyu knew, they could never be the same again. He didn’t want to fuck everything up between them for the sake of getting things off his chest.

Mingyu smiles warmly though, hands reaching out to Wonwoo once more, and Wonwoo can’t back away because his body won’t let him move. He doesn’t _let_ himself move because Mingyu _knows_ and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to react, probably ever again. “Since when?” Comes Mingyu’s voice, so soft and soothing, and as Wonwoo is pulled back into that warmth - that _embrace_ \- he doesn’t feel so scared anymore.

Wonwoo takes a shuddering breath, breathing in the scent of hot chocolate, cinnamon and nutmeg. The spices burn through his nose and warm his chest, but it smells like Mingyu nonetheless. “Like, our first year of high school.” Wonwoo murmurs into Mingyu’s sweater, “I don’t know…”

“You’re not sure?” Mingyu teases, leaning back to look at Wonwoo with a shocked expression. Wonwoo can feel the camera in his inside pocket pressing into his flesh uncomfortably, but Mingyu’s tone is awfully playful; it puts Wonwoo at ease.

“It was a confusing time, okay?” Wonwoo retaliates, and there’s a smile on his lips as he looks up at Mingyu and snakes his hand back around to brush the other boy’s hair back away from his eyes.

Mingyu visibly leans into the touch, chasing Wonwoo’s fingers when he moves away, and it’s times like this where he’s reminded that Mingyu’s the kid of the group - the youngest out of all of them no matter how tall he is or however much of a man he may claim to be. “ _God_ ,” Mingyu says in an exhale, burying his face into Wonwoo’s hair again with a soft sigh, “we were so good together back in high school, we were fucking _magic_. I miss that so much. Where do you think we went wrong?”

“Probably when I fell in love with you,” Wonwoo says softly, but he feels Mingyu shaking his head.

“It probably wasn’t the falling in love. I think it was everything we did after that.”

Mingyu’s probably right. It’s never about the falling in love. It’s what the people involved do with those feelings - how they act on it and if they’ll pursue it or not. There’s one thing that confuses him though, hope blossoming from the words and he needs to ask. “ _We_?” Wonwoo pulls away this time, looking up at Mingyu with knitted brows and turned down lips, waiting for Mingyu to say something - confirm something to him.

“Yeah, _we_ .” Mingyu admits, fingers digging into Wonwoo’s waist through his parka. “ _We_ made mistakes, _we_ kept things bottled up and it all became too much, I think. High school was a while ago, and you’ve liked me for so _long_. We shouldn’t have let things stay like that.”

Wonwoo falters. He’d never thought of it like that before. He feels kind of stupid now, selfish and unworthy. He’d been too caught up in his own feelings to notice, and yet after that, Wonwoo is still unsure whether his feelings mean anything to Mingyu or not.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo apologises, soft sighs falling from his lips when Mingyu’s hand cups his cheek. Wonwoo keens at the touch, and there’s barely any time to register anything when Mingyu’s face comes so abnormally close to his and he can feel Mingyu’s breath over his lips. Their eyes connect, and he can see Mingyu daring him to stop everything - push him away again or tell him _no_. Yet Wonwoo doesn’t, and he waits with a thrumming in his chest for Mingyu to press those perfect lips against his own with the gentlest of touches.

Heaven. Kim Mingyu is pure heaven - and if he hadn’t believed it before, Wonwoo sure as hell believed it now. Their lips barely brush together, but Wonwoo’s eyes are closed and he can feel Mingyu’s fingers threading softly through his hair. He thinks he finally gets it. He thinks he gets how he could’ve been in love with this boy for so long.

It’s almost tragic, really, how the kiss is so innocent. Everything has been so pent up, so _frustrating_ for Wonwoo, and he’s surprised that this is enough for him, but it’s Mingyu, and he’s waited so long already - so he guesses that’s why. Wonwoo’s hands grasp Mingyu’s waist as he pulls away, and he opens his eyes to watch Mingyu’s cheeks flush that soft pink and his eyes flutter open. Wonwoo can feel his heart swell, and he’s a little overwhelmed, still processing when Mingyu speaks.

“Don’t.” Mingyu says, voice hoarse, “Don’t apologise to me. There’s nothing to apologise for.” Mingyu’s frowning as his fingers are brushing stray pieces of hair from Wonwoo’s forehead. Wonwoo wants to lean up and kiss him again, but he’s so very confused about what Mingyu means by anything because he’d just _kissed_ Wonwoo and he’s not sure how to take it. He’s still in a daze when Mingyu speaks up before he can even finish a coherent thought. “Come over to my place.”

Wonwoo is taken aback. He doesn’t find any ulterior motives tucked away under the request itself, but he pries anyway. “Are you trying to proposition me?” Wonwoo asks teasingly. He’s just trying to lighten the mood, maybe make himself feel a bit better by letting out a soft chuckle as he flicks Mingyu’s forehead playfully. His cheeks are red and he’s not sure if Mingyu knows he’s conflicted about everything that’s just happened. “Really Mingyu?”

“Shut up,” Mingyu shoots back, but the way his voice is laced with laughter tells Wonwoo that it’s okay, that maybe everything would be okay. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. Just… stay with me.”

“Yeah.” Wonwoo smiles. “Okay.”

Wonwoo finds out that Mingyu only lives three blocks away from Soonyoung and Jihoon (not that he’s never visited before - but the realisation that they’re so close only makes him realise how far away _he_ is from everyone else). Wonwoo also finds out that in the past four months, Mingyu hasn’t changed at all. Textbooks and papers are sprawled over tables, unwashed coffee mugs are left next to the sink, and the apartment still smells entirely of Mingyu - not that cologne he has on. Just Mingyu.

“Home sweet home,” Mingyu announces, shutting the door behind Wonwoo as he’s pulled inside. Wonwoo is about to ask about what the hell Mingyu had in mind with bringing him over besides just ‘ _staying with him_ ’ (not that he’d mind doing that), but Mingyu drags Wonwoo over to the couch and pushes him down before he can manage to get a word out. Wonwoo laughs as he his back hits the sofa, pulling Mingyu down next to him before shrugging his parka off, but not without removing Jihoon’s gift from the side pocket and placing it carefully on the coffee table in front of them first.

Mingyu raises an eyebrow at the camera Wonwoo pulls out from his coat, but takes the discarded parka for Wonwoo anyway, draping it over the back of the couch as they fall into silence. The only sound Wonwoo can hear is the soft ticking of the clock on the wall, Mingyu’s shallow breathing and the steady beating of his own heart. He doesn’t know what to do, or what to say - he’d just confessed that he liked the guy and he’d kissed him in the snow, and now they were here. He looks up at Mingyu with his brows knitted together when Mingyu reaches over and pulls him up by his shirt, their eyes connecting for barely a second before Mingyu closes the gap to press a chaste kiss to Wonwoo’s lips.

Wonwoo blushes an impossible shade of red, hands fumbling with the hem of his own shirt when Mingyu moves away because really, all he’d ever dreamed of for years was _this_ and now _this_ was happening. Kisses, touches, hugs from Mingyu and he’s so unprepared for it all, despite the years of hopeless pining and unfulfilled wishes that maybe one day, Mingyu would notice him - and now he had. Everything goes quiet again, and Wonwoo can hear his heart in his chest, so much louder than before.

He’s too overwhelmed to fathom anything other than the fact that Mingyu had just kissed him _again_ and that he’s slightly panicking next to Wonwoo, hands dropping down from their grasp on Wonwoo’s shirt and coming up to thread nervously through his short brown hair. Wonwoo finds it sort of endearing, yet equally as terrifying. “Sorry I- was that okay?” Mingyu asks apprehensively, chewing on his lip and Wonwoo reaches out hesitantly to touch his cheek, shaking his head vigorously.

“No, it’s… I’m okay with it - I’m so _definitely_ okay with it. I like you remember? I’m just… flustered.” Wonwoo whispers, turning his head away because _fuck_ he’s embarrassed and it was so obvious that he was. He doesn’t even know what to say, or how to say it, but Mingyu is looking at him, listening attentively with a small nod, and Wonwoo takes a deep breath before he continues. “I should be the one to apologise.”

Mingyu looks a little surprised at that, and his hands move over to grasp Wonwoo’s forearms gently. He can feel Mingyu’s eyes searching his, and he needs to avert his gaze before he starts hyperventilating or something because he’s so _not_ used to this much attention from Mingyu - ever. “For what?” Mingyu asks, and Wonwoo glances back over at him for a split second before replying.

“For liking you.”

Mingyu laughs softly, hands coming down to rest in his lap. “Wonwoo… what did you think I meant by _we_ earlier?”

Wonwoo blinks. He’s trying to process; but frankly, nothing is. “What are you saying?”

“I’m _saying_ ,” Mingyu starts, voice coming through as barely a whisper, “I like you too.”

Wonwoo sucks in a breath. Wow. _Wow_ . In a way, everything suddenly makes sense, and he shouldn’t be surprised - not after the kisses or the hugs or anything else that happened in between - but somehow, he still is. Hearing it out loud - that’s something he’d never thought he’d experience. Kim Mingyu likes him too, and that fact alone has his head spinning because he can’t _possibly_ imagine what it’s like to have the person who you’ve had feelings for since forever, suddenly reciprocating. In a way, he doesn’t have to imagine it anymore.

“You do?” Wonwoo asks incredulously. He still can’t wrap his mind around it, but Mingyu gives a shy nod, eyes downcast, and Wonwoo’s heart picks up its pace.  “I- for how long?”

Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t know… a while? A long time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Have you really liked me since the first year of high school though?”

“I have.”

“And you still went and fucked around, huh?”

Wonwoo gives Mingyu a hard smack on the arm and an indignant squawk at that, and the laugh Mingyu emits is so heavenly that Wonwoo almost forgets to be mad at his question. Goddamn Kim Mingyu is fucking hopeless. “Don’t give me that, oh my _God_ Mingyu. It’s not like you were any better - you probably screwed more people than all of us combined.”

“Fair point.” Mingyu concedes with a shrug and a teasing smile. He shuffles closer to Wonwoo and reaches over to pull Wonwoo’s hand into his lap, playing with his fingers as he curls back into himself nervously. “Why didn’t you just come to me if you were… y’know…”

“I didn’t wanna screw us up.” Wonwoo thought that was obvious enough. Two friends who used to work so well together, and suddenly one of them had feelings that they shouldn't've had? It would never go well if it was one-sided. “I didn’t want to be the guy who fucked the person I had feelings for, and end up in eternal hell and damnation wallowing in self pity because they didn’t like me back.”

Mingyu laughs amorously at that, but he nods and slowly brings Wonwoo’s hand up to his lips. “I get that.” Mingyu whispers against Wonwoo’s knuckles, and when he looks up into Wonwoo’s eyes, there’s an uncertainty that wasn’t there before. Mingyu looks a little scared, and Wonwoo’s never seen him like that before. Usually _he’s_ the one who’s scared as fuck about everything, and it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t just that right now. “What if, y’know,” Mingyu says, trying to sound nonchalant, “they liked you back? Would you go to them for that _then_?”

Wonwoo shrugs, trying to be as nonchalant as Mingyu, but they’re both failing horribly. Wonwoo is nervous - nervous as _fuck_ \- but his lips are threatening to break out into a grin nonetheless. “Maybe I would, but I’d probably want something more from them than just sex.”

“And if they wanted the same thing?”

“I guess we could work something out.”

Mingyu nods, like he’s contemplating something, and he looks so serious when he asks, “do you want to work something out then?” Mingyu’s voice is hushed, but by now, they’re both smiling and Mingyu’s hand is cradling the back of Wonwoo’s neck gently. Mingyu looks just about ready to lean in and kiss him, but there’s still that air of ‘ _what are we to each other_ ’ before Wonwoo answers him. Wonwoo wishes he could tell Mingyu that there’s really no need to worry so much.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo agrees with a breathy laugh, “let’s do that.”

Wonwoo admits that he’s so fucking whipped, and his heart nearly leaps out of his chest when Mingyu leans in again, but it’s Wonwoo who closes the gap this time, lips pressing firmly onto the other boy’s, eyes falling shut and finally, everything feels _right_ . Wonwoo’s arms reach up to circle Mingyu’s neck, pulling him in closer, and he feels Mingyu’s tongue dart out to tentatively lick at his bottom lip. Wonwoo nearly snorts against Mingyu’s mouth because it’s not the first time either of them have kissed anyone, yet it feels so _new_ and Wonwoo isn’t sure why.

Wonwoo lets Mingyu take the lead; tongue slipping in between eager lips and Wonwoo’s sure he can feel Mingyu’s hands wandering across his back, pulling him in impossibly close so their chests are flush against each other. It’s so warm where Mingyu touches him, _too_ warm, almost, and Wonwoo finds himself pulling Mingyu in deeper, chasing it. When they break apart, it’s ragged breaths and soft laughter, but Wonwoo wouldn’t have it any other way, really.

Mingyu shuffles forward on the couch, perching on the edge. He pulls Wonwoo towards him and Wonwoo thinks he knows what he wants. He straddles Mingyu’s thighs - those thighs he was so _shamelessly_ checking out earlier - and that thought actually makes him let out a loud bark of laughter, Mingyu raising an amused brow at the outburst. Wonwoo only shakes his head as he leans in again; an open mouthed kiss to Mingyu’s lips and their tongues tangle together more desperately than Wonwoo had thought was possible.

They’d both wanted it for so _long_ though, so Wonwoo can’t really blame anyone. Mingyu’s got his hands on Wonwoo’s ass already, makes Wonwoo so _tempted_ to grind down against him, which he does, and elicits a low groan from Mingyu. Wonwoo moans softly into the kiss, grinding against Mingyu again as he pulls his lips away.

“ _Shit_ ,” Mingyu grumbles, fingers playing with the hem of Wonwoo’s shirt. His lips are a little swollen and Wonwoo thinks it looks really good. Unusually so. “Someone’s a little excited.”

“Can you blame me?” Wonwoo scoffs, arms coming to rest upon Mingyu’s broad shoulders. Mingyu laughs softly and shrugs, hands slipping under the shirt and tickling the skin underneath. Wonwoo frowns and lets Mingyu pull his shirt off of him, shivering when the winter air hits him and it’s so _cold_ , but Mingyu’s touch is so _hot_ when he starts kissing down Wonwoo’s neck. God, it’s like a fucking dream. Kim Mingyu is finally here, kissing him and holding him and it’s so _surreal_ because all the dreaming Wonwoo’s been doing about just this moment is absolutely _insane_.

Wonwoo nearly whimpers when Mingyu starts sucking a mark onto his collarbone, fisting his hair with a little too much vehemence which makes Mingyu grunt in discomfort with Wonwoo whispering hushed apologies and Mingyu telling him it’s alright with breathy laughter. Everything feels so uncoordinated, like they’re both still blundering teenagers testing the waters, and Wonwoo guesses that they are, technically. It’s like neither of them are sure about what their relationship really is anymore - something more than friends but not yet defined, but Wonwoo thinks that’s okay. They could sort everything out later. There’s always later.

It’s Mingyu’s god awful sweater that finally comes off next, impatiently pulled off and tossed to the side with Wonwoo’s shirt. Wonwoo’s fingers caress the toned muscle of Mingyu’s stomach, tracing the dips and curves of his chest, trying to memorise everything because he’s scared he’ll forget. Mingyu’s breath catches when Wonwoo leans down to nip at the skin behind his ear, gasping softly when Mingyu grinds up against him and _Jesus_ he needs to do something about that.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo whispers, and Mingyu hums a response, hands on Wonwoo’s ass giving a squeeze through his jeans and somehow, Wonwoo can’t help but laugh at that, maybe from the nerves, maybe from the sudden realisation that his crush was groping his ass. “What do you want me to do?”

“What do _you_ want to do?”

Wonwoo pauses to think for a moment, fingers brushing against the waistband of Mingyu’s jeans and bottom lip caught between his teeth. He’s not exactly sure how to phrase it properly without being too blunt, but he guesses that he might as well be upfront about it. “I think… I kind of wanna suck your dick?”

Mingyu looks a little taken aback, laughing a little nervously. “Yeah,” Mingyu tells him, “you can do that.”

Wonwoo smiles, presses a kiss to Mingyu’s lips shyly before he starts fiddling with the zipper on Mingyu’s jeans, slipping onto his knees. His fingers hook themselves onto the waistband before tugging everything down Mingyu’s thighs, Mingyu having to lift up his hips so Wonwoo can pry them off. Wonwoo notices that they’re both still wearing their shoes, so he pulls them off Mingyu’s feet with a disapproving grunt and ‘ _gross_ ’ whispered under his breath when he wipes his hands on Mingyu’s jeans as he takes them off completely.

Then it’s just Mingyu sitting there, exposed and completely naked in front of him. Wonwoo rakes his eyes over Mingyu’s body and he feels a little greedy for admiring Mingyu like this. Mingyu’s half hard already, and his cheeks are flushed kind of pink. It’s really fucking _cute_ , and Wonwoo thinks it’s even cuter when Mingyu whimpers a little and shuffles off the couch a little more, bringing himself closer to Wonwoo.

He settles himself in between Mingyu’s thighs, pressing kisses to the soft flesh and he can hear Mingyu hiss when Wonwoo bites down on a particular spot on his inner thigh. He’s the one who ends up blushing though, because goddamn Kim Mingyu sounds so good like that. He never thought Mingyu would sound _that_ good.

Wonwoo is about to lean in, tease him with his tongue and take him in his hand, but Mingyu seems to have other ideas when he makes a weird sound and leans over to the coffee table, nearly poking Wonwoo’s eye out with his dick. “What are you _doing_?” Wonwoo squawks, leaning back so no stray appendages smack him in the face. Wonwoo wants to cry - and not in a good way because _oh my God_ _Mingyu_ _what the_ _fuck_.

When Mingyu sits back down properly, the first thing Wonwoo makes sure to do is to grasp Mingyu’s thighs firmly so he doesn’t go anywhere else, and he looks up to see what Mingyu could’ve _possibly_ thought was so important and _holy shit is that his polaroid camera?_ Jihoon was going to kill him. Mingyu turns the camera around in his hands and reaches for the pack of blank polaroids next to him, smiling down at Wonwoo who’s surely gawking at whatever the hell Mingyu was doing.

“Can I take pictures of you?”

 _Wait, what?_ Wonwoo doesn’t really know what to say to that. “Right _now_ ? The _hell_ -”

“It’ll be _hot_ \- and I kind of want to commemorate this y’know? So we can look back and reminisce about our first time together when we’re old and senile.”

Oh my God. Kim Mingyu is a fucking dork.

“How romantic.” Wonwoo deadpans, still staring up at Mingyu from between his thighs, but he’s… actually kind of down for it. As long as he gets to see those pictures too, and he can suck Mingyu’s dick soon - he’s _so_ totally down for it. “ _Christ_ , you’re into some weird shit, aren’t you?” Wonwoo says with a laugh, goddamn _finally_ taking Mingyu’s (still, half hard) cock in his hand. “Sure, yeah, you can if you think it’ll make nice memories or whatever.”

Mingyu’s smile is so breathtaking because he looks so _happy_ , and he starts fiddling with the camera, pausing only for a brief moment to moan when Wonwoo’s hand starts stroking his cock. Wonwoo busies his lips with pressing kisses to Mingyu’s inner thighs, and Mingyu takes less time than he thought to become fully erect - but Wonwoo isn’t complaining.

He focuses on the soft gasps Mingyu lets out when he flicks his wrist, instead of the odd noises he hears from the camera being fucked around with. Wonwoo can see precome starting to bead up at the slit, and he stops his hand to lift Mingyu’s dick and lick a long, wet stripe from the base to the tip - and that’s when he sees the flash.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Mingyu breathes, waving the polaroid around before holding it out in front of Wonwoo with a breathy laugh, “you look so hot like this.” Wonwoo pauses. He’s got his tongue pressed flat to the underside of Mingyu’s cock, eyes half-lidded and honestly, he really fucking does look pretty damn good. Wonwoo looks so _lewd,_ it’s actually amazing - and he doesn’t compliment himself often.

Wonwoo gives a quick smirk to Mingyu, eyeing the camera as Mingyu puts the damn thing down, and closes his lips around the head of Mingyu’s cock, letting the taste of precome coat his tongue. He hears Mingyu swear under his breath when he sinks down further, moaning around him. Mingyu’s fingers find their way back into his hair again, tugging roughly as Mingyu groans underneath him. Wonwoo can feel his own jeans getting a little too tight, but he tries to forget about it, focusing on Mingyu instead.

Wonwoo sets a pace, bobbing his head as he hollows his cheeks, using his hand to stroke whatever he can’t fit into his mouth and everything is slick with spit, making an obscene sound when Wonwoo takes him deeper. Mingyu fucking _whines_ , hand firm on the back of Wonwoo’s head and hips threatening to thrust into Wonwoo’s mouth. Wonwoo grips onto Mingyu’s thigh with his free hand to steady himself and make sure Mingyu doesn’t choke him.

“Hold on- Wonwoo, stop for a moment- _fuck_.” Mingyu’s fingers tug on his hair a little harder. Wonwoo protests with a small whine when Mingyu pulls his hair again, and he moves off with a soft _pop_ when his lips leave Mingyu’s cock.

Wonwoo’s breathing heavily, jaw aching and trying to catch his breath when he looks at Mingyu with knitted brows. “Are you okay?” He asks, concerned.

Mingyu nods and licks his lips; he kind of looks more than flustered, stumbling over his words. “Yeah, I’m- do you- uh - lets take it into the bedroom, okay?”

“Oh,” Wonwoo states dumbly, and really he’s just relieved that he didn’t do anything wrong, but still also partially confused. “Yeah, okay.”

Mingyu smiles sheepishly and stumbles up from the couch, pulling Wonwoo up by his arm, grasping gently. Wonwoo dazedly lets Mingyu pull him to his feet, and he impatiently toes off his shoes whilst Mingyu clumsily fumbles around with his discarded pants, picking up the camera too before ushering Wonwoo into the next room over, both of them erupting into soft laughter.

“Sorry,” Mingyu whispers, stalking over to his bed, “I think I want a little more than just a blowjob.” He places something down on the nightstand before shoving the covers off along with the pile of clothes strewn about. Wonwoo can only laugh incredulously as he watches Mingyu, and carefully shimmies out of his jeans and and underwear, throwing them in with Mingyu’s pile of shit. Mingyu smiles apologetically at Wonwoo, but his eyes are on him, so _obviously_ checking him out because Mingyu is biting his bottom lip and visibly swallowing. Apparently, Wonwoo looks pretty good naked.

Mingyu quickly makes his way back over and reaches out for Wonwoo, cupping Wonwoo’s face as he leans in and kisses him. The kiss is a little sloppy, but Wonwoo takes his time to guide Mingyu into a reasonably less enthusiastic rhythm, tongue darting out to lick into Mingyu’s mouth. Wonwoo moans softly, moving closer and he hisses into the kiss when their cocks brush against each other. Mingyu pushes Wonwoo back until his legs hit the edge of the bed and he’s falling backwards with a soft gasp, Mingyu tumbling on top of him, pulling away his lips to laugh a little more. Uncoordinated was definitely a mild term for whatever this was (and a good term was probably absolutely hopeless).

“Do you wanna fuck me?” Wonwoo asks breathily, shuffling back on the bed and raising an eyebrow. He can see Mingyu’s lips twitch into a small smile and his tongue dart out to wet his lips.

“Please?”

Wonwoo grins, crawling over to the bedside table and pulling open the top drawer, fumbling around inside for maybe about a minute before he remembers that he has no idea where the hell anything is. “Where the fuck is your lube…”

“I’ll grab it,” Mingyu grumbles, shuffling over to Wonwoo and digging around in the top drawer himself. At least Wonwoo was in the right place. “Go show me that bony ass of yours.”

“How _endearing_ ,” Wonwoo mutters sarcastically under his breath, but he moves back over to the middle of the bed and leans against the headboard, spreading his legs as he waits. Mingyu finally throws down a bottle of lube and a couple foil packets before making his way over to Wonwoo spread out on the bed, looking at Mingyu expectantly.

Mingyu looks just about ready to die at that, shaky hand coming up to run through his brown locks, and he takes a deep breath before he grabs the lube bottle and settles himself in between Wonwoo’s legs, pupils blown. Wonwoo watches as Mingyu squeezes the lube onto his fingers, slicking them up and Wonwoo needs to bite back a moan when Mingyu’s fingers disappear between his legs and he can feel them teasing at his entrance. Wonwoo tries to reach for his aching cock at that, but Mingyu swats his hand away with a frown, and Wonwoo can only whine in protest.

“Ready?” Mingyu asks in a hushed voice, and he sounds so sincere, so much like he’s trying to do the right thing that Wonwo kind of wants to roll his eyes and fuck himself on those fingers instead. He’s not going to wait all day.

“ _Yes_ , Mingyu.” Wonwoo gripes, wiggling his hips. “Jesus Christ.”

Mingyu scoffs. “I’m trying to be sweet here, cut me some slack.”

Wonwoo lets out an unattractive snort of laughter before Mingyu slips the first finger in, and he can’t help but wince at the feeling, clenching around Mingyu. “ _Shit-_ ” Wonwoo breathes, and he nods at Mingyu, prompting him to move his finger when Mingyu only looks up at him nervously. Fuck, he was cute even with his finger up Wonwoo’s ass. It doesn’t take long for Wonwoo to want a second finger, and he lets Mingyu know when the first one starts to become a little redundant by rolling his hips. Mingyu easily slips in the second, and when the third finger works its way in, Wonwoo’s already moaning softly and begging for more.

Mingyu pulls his fingers out slowly, reaching over the bed to grab the foil packets and he looks at them in his hand for a brief moment before handing it over to Wonwoo sheepishly. “Sorry, my hands are a little-” Mingyu starts to apologise, but Wonwoo is already snatching them from Mingyu’s hand with a huff and turns them over, fingers ready to tear one open, but he spots something on the packaging and _Jesus_ Kim Mingyu is hopeless.

“Mingyu, you dork. Your condoms are fucking expired.”

Mingyu looks extremely confused for a moment before his eyebrows disappear behind his fringe and he leans over to check the date when Wonwoo points to it on the pack. “You’re shitting me,” he says, huffing in annoyance, “I don’t think I have any more… do _you_ have any?”

“Why would I?” Wonwoo groans in frustration and tosses the packets off the side of the bed in distaste. “Ugh, just- you’re clean right?.”

“Yeah,” Mingyu says slowly, chewing on his lip again, “are we seriously doing this without a condom?”

“Do you want us to stop?”

“ _No_ ,” Mingyu backtracks quickly, grabbing Wonwoo’s thigh with the lubed up hand and Wonwoo cringes when he feels it on his skin. “I want you. I trust you.”

“I trust you too,” Wonwoo sighs, but he reaches up to drag Mingyu down for a kiss anyway, pulling him in and threading his hair between his fingers. He can feel Mingyu’s hands running up his thighs and spreading him open, and Wonwoo reaches for the lube again to hand to Mingyu. Mingyu breaks the kiss and takes the bottle, flipping open the cap before slicking his dick up with lube, but Wonwoo can see the apprehension on his features when he lines himself up. “You look nervous…”

Mingyu looks up at Wonwoo and chuckles, shrugging a little as he places a hand next to Wonwoo’s head on the bed to steady himself. “I _am_ nervous.”

“It’s not like either of us are virgins or anything - I’m not gonna break, Mingyu.”

“But I sure as hell _feel_ like a virgin right now…”

“Come here,” Wonwoo tells him, pulling him in by the back of his neck and pressing a soft kiss to the side of his mouth, “if it makes you feel any better, I’m nervous too.”

“Shit,” Mingyu murmurs, cheeks stained and brown eyes searching Wonwoo’s, “why are we like this?”

“Because we’re in love?” Wonwoo tries, but he doesn’t expect Mingyu to smile and nod the way he does, fingers brushing stray strands from Wonwoo’s forehead.

“Because we’re in love.”

“ _Damn_ ,” Wonwoo whispers with a soft giggle, nuzzling Mingyu’s cheek reassuringly, “we’re so unnecessarily gross. Hurry up.”

Mingyu gives Wonwoo’s thigh a gentle smack in retaliation as he repositions himself and inches in, the stretch a little painful, and it makes Wonwoo grimace as he grasps onto Mingyu’s biceps, nails digging into the flesh. He can see Mingyu about to ask if he’s alright, but Wonwoo gives him a withering glare once he opens his mouth and pulls him in for another kiss instead. Wonwoo whines into Mingyu’s mouth when he starts to move, thrusting slow and deep, and Mingyu sets a rhythm, hand trailing down Wonwoo’s side and settling just below his stomach.

Wonwoo arches his back with a cry when Mingyu takes his dripping cock in his hand, stroking in time with his painfully slow thrusts, precome smearing on the head. Mingyu detaches his lips from Wonwoo’s, latching onto his neck to suck on a spot just below his ear instead. Wonwoo moans, really fucking _moans_ when Mingyu bites down, and it’s almost at the same time that he hits Wonwoo’s prostate and- _“_ holy fucking _shit._ ” Wonwoo drags his nails down Mingyu’s back, grasping desperately onto the taut muscle and Mingyu hisses in his ear, grunting at the sting.

Mingyu’s panting right into Wonwoo’s ear and it’s so hot, hot, _too fucking hot_ and _fuck_ everything is so _overwhelming_ . Wonwoo rolls his hips involuntarily at a particularly deep thrust and Mingyu’s hooking Wonwoo’s legs over his shoulders and fucking him into the mattress, leaving Wonwoo’s dick neglected and aching. “ _Fuck_ , Mingyu-” Wonwoo moans, and he clumsily reaches down between his legs and jacks himself off, the pacing all wrong and too fast.

“You’re so fucking _pretty_ Wonwoo,” Mingyu rasps, and it sends Wonwoo into a quivering mess, clawing marks onto Mingyu’s back that’ll probably bleed and hand a blur on his dick. “Are you close?” Mingyu carefully cards his hand through Wonwoo’s hair and sounds just about as close as he is. Wonwoo nods vehemently because he can’t suck in a deep enough breath to speak properly, and his chest is all _tight_ and the heat in his stomach is _hot_ and he’s so full of _Mingyu_ and _feelings_ that he’s not sure what to do anymore. “Can you come for me then?”

Wonwoo nods again, breath getting impossibly shallower and Mingyu thrusts into him again and he’s coming over himself, hand stuttering on his cock as he rides it out and all he can see is _white, white hot, white_ and it takes him a moment to realise that Mingyu’s pulling out of him with a “ _fuck_ ” and coming over his stomach too.

Mingyu groans and collapses next to Wonwoo gasping for breath on the bed with a huff, pulling Wonwoo close and resting Wonwoo’s head on his chest. Wonwoo closes his eyes for a moment, his head throbbing and his thighs trembling as he tries to shift closer to Mingyu without dirtying the sheets anymore. Mingyu presses a kiss to the crown of Wonwoo’s head, breathing in. Wonwoo thinks that maybe he’d fall asleep like this, but there’s no blankets on the bed and the come is starting to cool and feel a little gross on his skin.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo grumbles, poking him in the ribs to which Mingyu lets out a (manly, oh so very manly) squeak. Wonwoo laughs at that softly, but he snuggles against Mingyu a little more. “Can I clean myself up now?”

“Oh shit, yeah.” Mingyu says, and he carefully moves Wonwoo off him with another kiss to the top of his head. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” Wonwoo nods, not really in any mood to be protesting as Mingyu scampers off to God knows where. Wonwoo lays there and _breathes_ , sitting up slowly after about a minute of nearly falling asleep again, and he opens his eyes just before there’s another flash and Jesus fucking _Christ_ this boy doesn’t _learn_.

“I swear to _God_ Mingyu if you just took a photo of me covered in come-” Wonwoo glares at Mingyu who grins sheepishly and holds the still-developing polaroid up. Wonwoo groans and collapses back onto the bed, limbs sprawled out in all directions and he’s honestly not surprised anymore. “ _Unbelievable_. Why do I like you?”

“I dunno, that’s your problem.” Mingyu shrugs as he sits down next to where Wonwoo is sprawled out, taking the damp cloth in his other hand and carefully wipes Wonwoo down. The material is cold, and he flinches when it touches his skin, his hand trailing over to cover Mingyu’s as he cleans him up.

“You’re terrible,” Wonwoo murmurs, sitting up once Mingyu’s tossed the towel to the side, shuffling closer to Mingyu to wrap his arms around the younger boy’s waist and kiss the marks on his back. He’s tired, it’s probably really fucking late and he’s so spent already; he kind of just wants to sleep. Mingyu drags a blanket over with his foot and slowly reaches to pick it up, draping it over both of them. He lets Wonwoo rest his head on his shoulder with his eyes closed, reaching up to caress Wonwoo’s cheek and he leans into the touch eagerly. He feels the press of lips on his forehead, his cheek, and he opens his eyes when he feels a gentle pressure on his lips.

“Hey Wonwoo,” Mingyu calls softly, flicking open his pocketwatch and showing the time to Wonwoo, who can’t help but smile.  “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo agrees with a smile, leaning up to press another kiss to Mingyu’s lips, savouring the warm feeling of everything being _good_. The two of them could finally be good again. “Merry Christmas, Mingyu.”

**Author's Note:**

> I literally fell asleep trying to finish this though, the sacrifices I'll make for fanfiction tsk. Also, is it just me or does AO3 the formatting from Google Docs now? Like, it puts unnecessary spaces in but I can't be bothered deleting them all, forgive me.
> 
> Remember, kids: wrap it before you tap it! Don't have sexy times without protection!! Remember to check the expiry dates on the condom packages before you do the nasty!!!
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated hahaha please tell me how to improve, how to porn & constructive criticism is loved :')
> 
> You can stalk me over on tumblr @ minghowdareu I promise not to bite but lmao I suck at replying to things just an fyi - don't be afraid to harass/spam me if you wanna talk c: lets be frands!
> 
> (((( miserable crying because what am i  _doing_ ))))


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